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Home > Top 100 Jokes
Top 100 Jokes
These jokes are the cream of the crop, the absolute best jokes on the planet. Check em out and see what makes you laugh.
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#2
Views: 8 | Strange American Laws
Category: Political Jokes
In Ottumwa, Iowa, "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unaquainted."
In Los Angeles, you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
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#3
Views: 7 | Funny Politics Joke
Category: Political Jokes
A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points.
After a battery of physical and psychological .... More |
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#4
Views: 6 | Awesome Blonde Joke
Category: Blonde Jokes
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to .... More |
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#5
Views: 6 | Stupid Blonde Joke
Category: Blonde Jokes
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blon .... More |
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#6
Views: 6 | Funny Joke About a Blonde Woman
Category: Blonde Jokes
Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk.
When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so .... More |
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#7
Views: 5 | Blondes and Boats
Category: Blonde Jokes
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
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#8
Views: 5 | Super Dumb Blonde Skydiver
Category: Blonde Jokes
A blonde and a brunette are skydiving.
The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens.
She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.
The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells .... More |
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#9
Views: 5 | Cute Blonde Joke
Category: Blonde Jokes
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.
When she reached her final destination, she cut a large .... More |
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#10
Views: 5 | Dumb Blonde Story
Category: Blonde Jokes
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park one morning.
Suddenly, the brunette notices a dead bird. "Awww, look at the dead birdie," she says sadly.
The blonde stops, looks up into the sky, and says, "Where? Where?"< .... More |
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#11
Views: 5 | Hillarious Blonde Jokes
Category: Blonde Jokes
On her way home from a long trip, a blonde drove past a sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES."
By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms. .... More |
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#12
Views: 5 | Redneck Driver Application Joke
Category: Redneck Jokes
Redneck Driver's Application
Plez compleet this paper, best ya can.
Last name: ________________
First name:
[_] Billy-Bob [_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann< .... More |
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#13
Views: 5 | Democrats vs Republicans Jokes
Category: Political Jokes
1. Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group.
2. Republicans consume three-fourths of all the rutabaga produced in this country. The remainder is thrown .... More |
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#14
Views: 5 | Hillarious Bar Joke
Category: Bar Jokes
A guy named Benny is sitting in a bar mouthing off that he knows everybody. So his buddy bets $10 the next person to walk in the bar didn't know him. Somebody walks in the bar and says "Hey Benny what's up?" so the guy then bets him $100 he doesn't know t .... More |
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#15
Views: 4 | Hillarious Joke About Blonde
Category: Blonde Jokes
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her t .... More |
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#16
Views: 4 | Joke About Blonde in Disneyland
Category: Blonde Jokes
Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida.
As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying "Disney World Left!"
After thinking for a minute, the driver bl .... More |
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#17
Views: 4 | Great Blonde Joke
Category: Blonde Jokes
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job.
In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue.
The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "green side up!"
< .... More |
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#18
Views: 4 | Funny Redneck Jokes
Category: Redneck Jokes
You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.
There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.
You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.
You've ever shot anyo .... More |
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#19
Views: 4 | Health Care Political Joke
Category: Political Jokes
Health care costs are rising uncontrollably across the world. In America, taxes have been on the rise just to pay for them.
In England, they have begun rationing health care services and in some cases they have waiting lists for services ju .... More |
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#20
Views: 4 | Top 10 Ways You Know if You Have PMS
Category: Top 10 Lists
10. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
9. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
8. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
7. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everythin .... More |
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#21
Views: 4 | 10 Things a Woman Would do With a Penis
Category: Top 10 Lists
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. Determine WH .... More |
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#22
Views: 4 | Top 10 Songs on the Popes Album
Category: Top 10 Lists
10. Girls Just Want To Be Nuns
9. Wind Beneath My Vestments
8. Pretty Fly (For A Celibate Guy)
7. A Whiter Shade Of Robe
6. Exactly Like A Virgin
5. Sistine Candles
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#24
Views: 4 | Breast Enlargement
Category: Bar Jokes
A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."
The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?"
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#25
Views: 4 | Spit in Beer Joke
Category: Bar Jokes
A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!". After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign .... More |
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#26
Views: 2 | Yo Mama So Fat Jokes
Category: Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.
Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Wh .... More |
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#27
Views: 2 | More Yo Mana So Fat Jokes
Category: Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
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#28
Views: 2 | Stupid Yo Mama SO Fat Jokes
Category: Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!
Yo mama so fat her college graduation picture was an airial.
Yo .... More |
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#29
Views: 2 | Yo Mama Jokes
Category: Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
Yo mamma so fat you haveta rol .... More |
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#30
Views: 2 | Your Mom is Fat Jokes
Category: Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat when she g .... More |
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#31
Views: 2 | More Yo Mama Jokes
Category: Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo mama so fat she fell and ma .... More |
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#32
Views: 2 | Funny New Yo Mama Is Fat Jokes
Category: Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.
Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep tr .... More |
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#33
Views: 2 | Yo Mama So Stupid
Category: Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she .... More |
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#34
Views: 2 | Funny New Yo Mama So Stupid Jokes
Category: Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.
Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.
Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own .... More |
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#35
Views: 2 | Jokes of Yo Mama So Stupid
Category: Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
Yo mama so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
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#36
Views: 2 | You Might Be a Redneck
Category: Redneck Jokes
You might be a redneck if...
More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutem .... More |
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#37
Views: 2 | You Might Be a Redneck Jokes
Category: Redneck Jokes
You might be a redneck if...
You've ever worn shorts to a funeral home.
You think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
You've ever been too drunk to fish.
You've ever .... More |
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#38
Views: 2 | Jokes About Rednecks
Category: Redneck Jokes
You might be a redneck if...
Your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.
Your birth announcement included the word "rug rat".
You've ever .... More |
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#39
Views: 2 | More Super Redneck Jokes
Category: Redneck Jokes
You might be a redneck if...
Your insurance man is a redneck too if he pays you for it.
You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
You've ever hit a deer with your car...deliberately.
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#40
Views: 2 | New Redneck Jokes
Category: Redneck Jokes
You might be a reneck if...
The neighborhood dogs are afraid to come around your house because the fowl are big enough to hurt them.
You have ever had to climb up on the roof of an out building to get down any fowl that was f .... More |
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#41
Views: 2 | Stupid Redneck Jokes
Category: Redneck Jokes
You might be a reneck if...
You re-use dental floss to save money.
You've ever drunk mouthwash just because you're too lazy to walk down to the liquor store.
Your homecoming basketball game was rained out.
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#42
Views: 2 | Rednecks Flying Home
Category: Redneck Jokes
Two Redneck hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture, and bagged six big bulls. The pilot came back as arranged to pick them up.
They started loading their gear into the .... More |
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#46
Views: 2 | Funny Clinton Question Jokes
Category: Clinton Jokes
Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year?
A: Reagan ate all the jellybeans.
Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year?
A: They've bee .... More |
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#47
Views: 2 | More Funny Clinton Jokes
Category: Clinton Jokes
Q: Did you hear that the Clinton's had Air Force 1 remodeled?
A: Now it's got two left wings.
Q: Why is Bill Clinton called "middle of the road Democrat"?
A: Because he's got a wide yellow stripe down the middle of his two-lan .... More |
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#48
Views: 2 | Differences
Category: Clinton Jokes
Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Joseph Stalin?
A: Some of Stalin's subjects admired him. .... More |
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#49
Views: 1 | 10 Signs of Stress
Category: Top 10 Lists
10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".
9. The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
8. The cat is on Valium.
7. People have trouble understanding your kids, becau .... More |
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#50
Views: 1 | Things Only Women Understand
Category: Top 10 Lists
10. Cats' facial expressions
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds
7. Fat clothes
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best .... More |
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#51
Views: 1 | 10 Things a Man Would Do With a Vagina
Category: Top 10 Lists
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong b .... More |
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#52
Views: 1 | Top 10 TV Shows in Iraq
Category: Top 10 Lists
10. Husseinfeld
9. Mad About Everything
8. Allah McBeal
7. Wheel of Fortune and Terror
6. Achmed's Creek
5. The Price is Right if Saddam Says it's Right
4. C .... More |
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#53
Views: 1 | Funny Bar Joke
Category: Bar Jokes
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again .... More |
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#54
Views: 1 | Womens Diet
Category: Women Jokes
BREAKFAST
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz glass skim milk
LUNCH
4 oz lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed zucchini
1 Oreo cookie
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#55
Views: 1 | Women Are Housekeepers
Category: Women Jokes
Regardless of what you may hear, there's still many women these days who are excellent "housekeepers". Seems each time they get a divorce, they keep the house.
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#56
Views: 1 | Funny Woman Joke
Category: Women Jokes
The newly divorced woman had never had to be the handyman around the
house before, and quickly discovered she was lacking most of the
proper tools to do the odd jobs needed. She made a trip to the local
hardware store and qui .... More |
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#57
Views: 1 | Young Married Woman Joke
Category: Women Jokes
A young married woman was discussing her sex life with a girlfriend.
The girlfriend asked, "Do you talk to your husband when you're making
love ?"
She thought about it a minute then said, "Well, no. But I could. I< .... More |
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#58
Views: 1 | Birth Control Joke
Category: Women Jokes
Some women are gathered and the subject of conversation
turns to sex and then birth control. The first woman says
"We're Catholic so we can't use it."
The next woman says "I am too but we use the rhythm
method."
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#59
Views: 1 | MEN vs Women
Category: Women Jokes
Men and women are not alike.
Sure, you thought you already knew that. But now we have conculsive
proof! After countless hours of surveys and studies on the following
topics, these facts have emerged:
RELAT .... More |
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#60
Views: 1 | Funny Girl Joke
Category: Women Jokes
How to Satisfy a Woman Every Time
Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix,
empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe,
humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, .... More |
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#62
Views: 1 | Hillarious Women Jokes
Category: Women Jokes
Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist when she got her vibrator stuck
inside of her.
"To remove that vibrator," said the doctor, "I'm going to have to
perform a very long and delicate operation."
"I don't think I can .... More |
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#63
Views: 1 | Hillarious Relationship Joke
Category: Relationship Jokes
Girlfriend Tech Support E-mail
I am currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've been
having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of
DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary .... More |
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#64
Views: 1 | Funny Joke
Category: Relationship Jokes
Birth of a Candy Bar
It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss
Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and
Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper .... More |
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#65
Views: 1 | Loving Couple Joke
Category: Relationship Jokes
Bill sat alone in the hospital room at his dying wife's beside. It was difficult to hear her above the many life sustaining devices, as
her voice was little more than a hoarse whisper. "Bill darling," she breathed. "I've got a confession to make be .... More |
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#66
Views: 1 | Joke about Relationships
Category: Relationship Jokes
solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time
and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen .... More |
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#67
Views: 1 | Jealousy
Category: Relationship Jokes
Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. "Oh Marie," she said to her maid, "I have reason to suspect that my husband is
having an affair with his secretary."
"I don't believe it for one minute !" Marie snapped."You're just saying that to .... More |
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#68
Views: 1 | Pleasure Problems
Category: Relationship Jokes
The husband, tired of a listless sex life came right out and asked his
wife during a recent love-making session, "How come you never tell me
when you have an orgasm ?"
She looked him rite in the eye and said, "You' .... More |
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#69
Views: 1 | Cheating Jokes
Category: Relationship Jokes
My wife and I were watching some TV show the other nite where the wife
hired a private detective to follow her husband and see if he were in
fact "cheating" on her. I asked my wife if she would ever do that.
She sa .... More |
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#70
Views: 1 | Bad Personals Ad
Category: Relationship Jokes
A friend of mine told me he had signed up with one of these on-line
dating services. I asked him the other day if he had had any luck and
he said he'd quit -- seems they'd matched him up with his wife. .... More |
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